The Ghosts Are Mine Response

I love the vividness built from using shapes, comparisons, and motions in the essay. The beginning of the story is fascinating. When I saw the description “filmstrip of windows flashing past and on its way (p1),” I can picture the situation, and that really draw me into the story. I am amazed at how well shapes are used to building scenes (maybe it’s because I have a passion and sensitivity for math, ha). It adds interesting details to the story at the same time helped me follow the writing because I can recall seeing “nested triangles of water (p1)” and “Matchbox public housing (p1).” Also, the description of shapes, like where the edges of building fade away or the experience in the museum, helps me getting the idea in the essay. Another great part I love is the comparison, more specifically, the connection, of the addressed object or incident in one scene to what happened in another. The narrating on experiences relates to stars, especially, naturally brought me through the whole story without jumping around on the story line. The use of motion, or dedicated verbs, makes me very engaged with the experience of the character. I like how the train “tilts(p1)” to the west and the stars “turn under (p2).”

I love this story very much, specifically with how vivid the scenes are, I feel like I was looking at a picture at some point. What are some tips, if they are namable, on how to describe a situation so that it connects to the reader at the same time builds the story?