Final Essay Proposal

For my final essay, I have narrowed myself down to two options - I can either expand on my Cross- Cultural Encounter with Dialogue piece or write about my first midwestern camping trip I just recently experienced this past weekend. The former has already been workshopped by y'all and would still only feature myself and my then closest friend Zoe meeting each other for the first time while exploring themes pertaining to societal assimilation, identity and humility. The latter would feature myself and a small group of friends camping out in a nowhere park about 20 minutes from here. In this story, I would capture the quirky intricacies of setting up camp, the sincerity of sharing stories by the lakeside and the innocent stupidity of young adulthood. Its themes would most likely reflect the epochal nature of life and the comfortable simplicity of friendship.

Final Essay Proposal

For my final essay I want to write about my trip to Pasadena, California for the Rose Bowl. I"m not sure what my story will tell yet but I'm thinking about my revolving it around one specific my dad said, "I took you guys to this game so that one day when I'm old and gross you'll take your kids, and hopefully me, back to the Rose Bowl." I think my theme will revolve around family but I'm sort of hoping I find that theme along the way. The characters I'll include will be my brother, sister and dad. I'm definitely going to include waiting for the game to start and possibly the tailgate. I may also include the travel troubles we endured just to get to the game but i'm not sure. I don't think this will be a super dialogue based story.

Final Essay Proposal

For my final essay, I would like to write about going for a run with my tour guide while I was in Geneva. It was just the two of us, so I will include him as a character besides me, as well as some people we passed on the sidewalks. I want to highlight the idea that slow travel (running, walking, biking) allows travelers to truly experience where they are, whereas a car or plane would be a barrier. Since there wasn't much dialogue between my tour guide and I as we ran, I won't be including too much, but the little conversation that we did have I will include. Some scenes will include the difficulty of running up Geneva's incredibly steep hill, stopping for a break at the Reformation monument, and running through the city itself. I'll describe how cold it was, how unfamiliar I was with the path--which contrasted to my runs at home--and my thoughts as I was running.

Final Essay Proposal

For my final travel essay, I am going to write about the field trip with Carol. The field trip is a chance for me to have an intimate contact with nature, especially in the US. In the essay, I will write many different characteristics, including Carol, Carol’s son, my classmates and me. The theme of the trip will reflect that the real field trip is more tiring and harder than my expectations. Also, the theme can indicate that hiking is just like life. People can meet plenty difficulties, but finally they can arrive at their destination.

Final Story Proposal

For my final travel essay, I plan on writing about my trip to Fenway Park. This would be an expansion on my "Describe a Place" essay. It is a narrative story, so the main character in the story is myself, but I will include the interactions I had with my family along with some of the others fans, and vendors that I encountered. The smaller form of the essay was revised in class and given some really great directions to go in. I want to write about family traditions and values and how they play into the love I have for baseball. The overall theme of the essay will be euphoria and how even though sometimes family dynamics are tough, finding a common ground can bring everybody together.

Final Travel Essay

For my final essay, I have two ideas. My first idea is writing about my trip to Pakistan. Specifically, I would focus on my visit to the Anarkali-Liberty market. My second idea is writing about my experience at a Saudi Arabian McDonalds. If I talked about the Anarkali-Liberty market, I would center my theme around the differences between an experienced traveler (my mom) vs a beginning traveler(me). The story would involve a lot of haggling, witty bargaining, and focus on Pakistani market vendors, their various shops, my mom, and I. If I wrote about the Saudi Arabian McDonald's, my theme would center on how people in America are automatically given respect, but in Saudi Arabia respect must be earned--even in a fast food restaurant. I would write about the separate lines for men and women, the different food, the unique seating arrangement, the cashier, and my family and I. The first idea would include Urdu dialogue, but the second idea would include Arabic. All in all, they're both great travel experiences that I would enjoy writing about.

Final Essay Proposal

For my final essay, I will complete the story about my trip to the Snow Village in China. It will include more activities experienced in the trip, such as skiing, and more details, such as backgrounds and descriptions of the place. It is a narrative story, with me being the main character interacting with other characters including my parents, my tour guide, and other people traveled along with. The theme is keeping the curiosity and enthusiasm with whatever one has not experienced in a life adventure, and the scenes mainly take place in the Snow Village.   

Final Story Proposal

For my final essay in this class, I would like to write about an excursion a friend of mine made with me one day while we were on our exchange trip in Germany. The narrative would begin with us leaving our exchange students at their gym class in order to stroll around the small town of Badbergsabern. Annie (my friend) and I would be the main characters of this story, with guest appearances from other students on the exchange, Robert and Johannes. The theme would be something along the lines of finding your own adventures is one of the best experiences imaginable. Scenes would include us leaving the gymnasium, buying overpriced coffee, running into Robert and Johannes, and hurrying across town in order to glimpse the watch tower rumored to stand on the opposite side of Badbergsabern.

Final Travel Essay Proposal

For my final travel essay, I will write about my trip to Saint Martin island that my family took my best friend and me on. I wrote a shorter essay on this trip already (snapshot assignment), and I plan to expand upon it by adding dialogue as well as more detail about the setting, characters, and what happened each day we were on the trip. The characters are my parents, sister, and best friend Lydia. The conflict is jealousy, and the theme is about learning to appreciate what is most important in life rather than worrying about petty things.

Final Travel Essay Proposal

For my final travel essay, I think I'm going to write about my trip to Turks and Caicos this past spring break. The characters will be my best friend, Nichole, and her family, mom, dad, sister, Leah, and brother, Zach, as well as my dad, mom, and I. Specifically, I may add to my story I wrote and work shopped in class about sitting around the table for dinner on the patio. If I don't write about that, I may talk about snorkeling, going along a similar theme as Bicycle Love, where if I wasn't with other people I wouldn't have gone as deep and far out to sea. I would highlight the specific moment when I got to the edge of the coral reef on one side and I just looked ahead and saw complete emptiness and vastness of the ocean. It was terrifying and I was reminded of the beauty and expanse of the ocean. I'll never forget this moment.

Proposal for Final Travel Essay

I'm going to write about my trip to Ecuador with my best friend Maddie, so the story will focus on us two and also include some family members. I'll include what we did during the trip such as going to the rainforest, going to a market, and going to the equator. I'll write about what I wanted the trip to be for Maddie and why it was so important to me, including expectations I had. The conflict at the end will produce the main theme of working past an unexpected conflict.

These Ghosts are Mine

I rather liked this story! The imagery was very vivid (to the point that I would like to ask, do you have a naturally good memory, or do you write descriptions down?)
I enjoyed the changing scenes, which were never too abrupt, and I was able to follow them with ease. The main story with Bethany was very emotionally charged and very well-written, and I appreciated that.

These Ghosts Are Mine Response

The style of Anne-sand’s writing is really creative. She ties the description of ghosts to the story of Bethany and her together. It is really sad when she realizes the relationship between she and Bethany breaks up. She uses ghosts to express that she is really upset. Here is my question. Why does the author describe many different scenes before she tells us her story with Bethany?

These Ghosts Are Mine Response

This piece was excellently written and unlike any other essay we have read in class thus far. I really enjoyed the constant shifting of scenes to being on the train in Chicago, to memories of European travels, to a sculpture in an art museum, etc. I also thought the description and imagery in the piece was extraordinary, something I definitely strive to incorporate in my final essay. My question for you would be how long had you known Bethany/ how did you first meet/ do you talk at all anymore?

Observations and Reflections on "These Ghosts Are Mine"

I noticed quickly that you tend to fragment your sentences into short, stylistic snapshots of specific details. Even in longer sentences when illustrating how "the neon interrupt[s] everything, replace[s] the expanse - light here, one light there, Ireland in summer - with a floating department store," your syntax naturally divides itself through commas and dashes. Although this provide the reader generous amounts of vivid imagery, it's ineffective at establishing environments and may possibly detract itself of its potency if used too closely together too often.

I always appreciate when writers personify their locations in order to engross their audience, but I'm also curious: why such an emphasis on environmental descriptions? Are they what strike you the most when you travel? Why not the people or culture? Do the images you craft represent something more than what the reader may suspect?

These Ghosts Are Mine Response

Hi Anne!
I really enjoyed your piece and your writing style. What I noticed when reading your work was that you particularly enjoy cataloging, or incorporating lists in your work. Like on the second page, "burning filaments marking a buoy, an island, the lighthouse" and on the fifth page, "She wore only her leather jacket, black tights and navy dress." I've also noticed that when you do incorporate these lists they are normally lists of three.

My question for you is what is the status of your relationship with Bethany now?

These Ghosts Are Mine Response

I really liked Sand’s descriptive writing style in this essay. For example, the sentence “Three bodies packaged in nylon and down are hunched in the seats, and I claim the last empty corner of the salt-streaked car”(1) I can picture the bundled up people and the train clearly from the times I have traveled in Chicago. She makes you feel like you are really apart of the story and on the train with her. I also like how she flashes back and forth from the train ride to her memories, it makes the piece very interesting.

One question I have, because the story is so detailed, is do you keep a travel journal?

These Ghosts are Mine

I really enjoyed the imagery in this piece. Sand's vivid descriptions made it easy for me to imagine each memory she relived on the train with clarity. For example, Sand writes, "...I saw two trash bags on a back deck...[t]he two lumps leaned against each other, a pair of round bodies tossed up on the shore, smooth and white, resting together" (4). I would never think to describe trash bags this way--not only does this description bring them to life and help me see them as Sand did, but it also sets a haunting tone.

Some questions I have are:

What drew you to write about this travel experience? A lot of this story reflected on previous trips, so how did you decide which places to include?

The Ghosts Are Mine Response

I love the vividness built from using shapes, comparisons, and motions in the essay. The beginning of the story is fascinating. When I saw the description “filmstrip of windows flashing past and on its way (p1),” I can picture the situation, and that really draw me into the story. I am amazed at how well shapes are used to building scenes (maybe it’s because I have a passion and sensitivity for math, ha). It adds interesting details to the story at the same time helped me follow the writing because I can recall seeing “nested triangles of water (p1)” and “Matchbox public housing (p1).” Also, the description of shapes, like where the edges of building fade away or the experience in the museum, helps me getting the idea in the essay. Another great part I love is the comparison, more specifically, the connection, of the addressed object or incident in one scene to what happened in another. The narrating on experiences relates to stars, especially, naturally brought me through the whole story without jumping around on the story line. The use of motion, or dedicated verbs, makes me very engaged with the experience of the character. I like how the train “tilts(p1)” to the west and the stars “turn under (p2).”

I love this story very much, specifically with how vivid the scenes are, I feel like I was looking at a picture at some point. What are some tips, if they are namable, on how to describe a situation so that it connects to the reader at the same time builds the story?

These Ghosts Are Mine- Response

I really enjoyed reading this piece. It was raw and real and a breath of fresh air. What I find really interesting is that, while you are telling the story from the train, all of the memories flashing by remind me of the scenery flashing by the windows outside. It is almost as if the story itself is a train ride. I felt as if I was traveling from place to place, or memory to memory, with you. I think that helps the story do a really good job of coming full circle.

I also really enjoyed the concept of the "two." I believe that the idea of the two stems from the fact that pasts can be haunting. There is the real thing, what actually happened, and there is the ghost form of it, the memories it created. To me, the most impacting line was "we weren't talking, but this time-I think-we both felt anxiety in the quiet." While this sentence is easy to understand, I think that it holds a lot of importance. It is the point in the story where I recognized that things change and nothing is constant. I also think this sentence was the connection between the was and the is. It tied the two pieces together very nicely.

A question I have for you is, what was your inspiration for the story? Was it recent? What made you decide to write this specific piece at this specific time?

These Ghosts Are Mine Response (5)

I love how, when reading the piece, I felt like I was floating through the moments with you. There was never a moment where I felt I was in a concrete place in your story, but it created a perfect mood for it. To me, the idea of two—the real thing and its ghost—represents the idea that memories of travel will always follow, or haunt, a traveler. The memory of Bethany follows you everywhere; she is like a ghost of your travels, and your thoughts of your trips come with thoughts of her.

I love your use of imagery; for example, the line on page 6, "The rose of Sharon was blooming frilly purple, the petals of the forsythias already making yellow clouds on the ground", is absolutely beautiful and very realistic. I also love the stylistic elements you use when shifting between images of you on the train in Chicago to you on the train in Ireland. The constant movement reminds me of a train ride itself.

My questions for you: why did you and Bethany both move away? For family reasons, a job, or something else?
How long have you known Bethany? Were you childhood friends, or did you meet as adults?

These Ghosts Are Mine Response

One trait of Sand's writing that I admired in her piece "These Ghosts Are Mine" is her weaving memories throughout her story. Her recollections of her travels overlap each other and create a hazy narrative that has light shown on moments quickly, like a train going through a tunnel and occasionally surfacing for air.

I will have multiple questions for Anne Sand, including the following:
You mentioned that you and Bethany lived in Ohio... Where, exactly? (this is just my own curiosity)

Do you believe the way Bethany ghosted you has to do with the fact that travels are often romanticized, and once the travels had ended, there was no more material to paint a better picture of?

When writing this, did you want to call Bethany?

How many places have you lived? Traveled to? Have you written about those places as well?

When writing this piece, did you think of other travels, such as when you went to the museum in Spain? If so, how did you choose what to include in this piece?

These Ghosts Are Mine

One part of Sand's style that I liked is the simple sentences that contain a lot of meaning. They feel raw, and real. They're relatable, but simple. For example, when she writes "Clearly she was mistaking the silence of anxiety for the silence of confidence" I knew exactly what this felt like and it was very simply described in a way the reader can understand and relate to. Another example is when she writes "I will continue to struggle with the realization that, for her, wanting things to be the same doesn't mean she'll act to keep them so." This sentence shows exactly what Bethany is feeling and is expressed clearly, making the reader really feel it.

I also really liked how it felt like there were endless connections throughout the story. The descriptions of all the places, the museum, the dialogue, and the story with Bethany all came together to form a very intricate piece. When I went back to look over it again, I saw connections I had missed the first time. The description of the highest density of life ever found leaving not when the body is gone, but when all the oxygen is gone, connects with the air running out and coughing on cigarette smoke with Bethany. I think the connections make the story more interesting and gives it more depth.

My question is what is your favorite thing to write about?

These Ghosts Are Mine- Anne Sand

I loved reading this essay. I found it interesting how the narrator was riding the train the whole time even though it seemed as if she was in so many other places. She told many different stories about different times in the past that made me feel like I were there with her in the past instead of being on the train. My question for Anne is, "Do you always write like that? Or is most of your writing in sequential form?"

I also liked the ghost symbolism in Sand's essay. The ghosts that were haunting her were doing so because they signified her relationship with Bethany. The two of them were always together, but have grown apart and this idea haunts her in a similar way that the ghosts do.

Victor Barreiro Picture - snapshots

A Response to White Rabbit

The main theme of Keith’s essay was doublessly about being prepared. A single mistake was allowed, two were cause for returning. Keith at one point lists the things she is bringing with herself, spanning one of the longest paragraphs in the story only to list her gear. Speaking of her gear, it is mentioned several times in the story that the new pieces of equipment are seen as unreliable, to the point that Keith only allows herself to bring one new piece of equipment (sans the unfrosted pop tarts).

As for an interesting use of language, I found her list of gear to be curious. It is unusual to see people list off things in such a way, but in this case it seems interesting and piques the reader’s curiosity

A second interesting use of language happens in page 2, when Keith says that she fears “taking the edge off” the challenge meant for the teenager, and soon mirrors the phrase about herself. Callbacks are one of my favorite devices available to writers, when used right, since they can re-capture a reader’s attention with ease, as well as create a sense of familiarity.

See you next time,
Victor M. Barreiro

White Rabbit Response

The theme of Keith’s essay is about the author’s hiking in winter. She enjoyed hiking in winter because she loved mountains in winter. She shared his hiking experiences in the article. It is not a good idea to hike alone, but sometimes hiking in a group is also bad.

“The slope of the land, the space between trees, the quality of the snow, animal tracks” is good description. This explains Keith’s intuition about the way covered by snow.

Another description is “The bunny’s and my paths diverge.” It tells us that Keith got lost. She used this sentence well because she didn’t directly say that she got lost, but I still know her meaning.